the perfect job

12.20.09

I got a new job a few years ago. It’s a volunteer position, but it requires long hours, frequent night shifts, constant worry, and patience beyond belief. Like most people, I took the position without fully understanding these requirements, and without knowing the fulfillment and joy that reward my effort.

The job requires you to combine the skills of a short-order cook, housekeeper, teacher, bookkeeper, chauffer, and entertainer. The best part is, your subordinates will love you even if you aren’t great in a few (or even all) of these areas. They do like to yell orders at you unintelligibly sometimes, but they also give bear hugs and sloppy kisses to more than make up for those moments.

I’ve found it easy to make new friends since joining this industry. The job provides an instant conversation starter. If you meet someone else in the same position, you immediately have 1000 subjects to discuss and laugh about. It’s not out of the ordinary (and no longer socially inappropriate) to have an entire conversation about bodily functions. These friends also understand when you have to stop in the middle of that conversation to discipline a subordinate or give over-enthusiastic praise to a subordinate’s work.

While you may have previously spent time with your friends shopping for the latest fashions, staying out late on weekends, and enjoying happy hour, you now meet at fast food restaurants or the grocery store and call it having a good time. On weekends, you try to be in bed by 10pm , because you have to report for work when the sun comes up. There are no days off, not that I’d want one.

For the entertainment portion of my job, I have at least 10 books and 20 songs memorized. Occasionally, I find myself singing these songs in the shower (when I have time to take one), with no subordinates in sight. One of the best perks of this job is when the subordinates take a break in the afternoon.  Although, sometimes I find myself watching their favorite TV show long after they’ve all left the room.

It might not sound like the best job to have, and the pay is certainly not great, but just seeing my subordinates smile makes it the perfect job for me. I am a mom.

My minions

..........................those kids that keep following me around..........................

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